


This Love

by sausagerollsareoverrated



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Gay, Sorry Not Sorry, little dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24787732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sausagerollsareoverrated/pseuds/sausagerollsareoverrated
Summary: Raven is struggling with the anniversary of the accident. Octavia reminds her its okay hurt and that she will always be there for her.
Relationships: Octavia Blake/Raven Reyes
Kudos: 13
Collections: Octaven Shorts





	This Love

“FUCK” Rave screamed as paper work flew off her desk onto the floor and into like extremely large snowflakes, as it echoed through the apartment. She stumbled to the floor as her legs gave way and she gently sobbed into her jeans, as she moaned in frustrating screaming at herself.  
“I don't belong here, I don't wanna be here, I should have died when he did'', she mumbled between heavy breathed cries as she gulped down the remains of the bottle of whiskey she bought not even 3 hours ago. She had pushed everyone away, including those who loved her more than life itself and those who had been there for her through it all.  
It was the anniversary of the accident 3 years when she lost her father, Floyd. 

3 years ago  
With 1975 blasting, Raven and her father sang along, dancing as they drove down the road, just around the corner from the house. “Hey dad, can I tell you something?” Raven asked with uncertainty laced in her voice. “Sure, honey. What's up?”. She took a deep breath as she tapped her hand against her knee. “I like girls, I think I’m bi” she silently started for a reaction.  
“That's okay Rae, I still love you, I can't wait to meet whoever you love, as long as you are happy” he comfortingly answered as he squeezed her sweaty and shaky hands. She smiled as she was only able to respond “I love you too”. 

That was the last conversation she had with her father. Next she remembered was in a hospital bed and Clarke sadly smiled as she squeezed my hand. I couldn't feel my right leg as I tried to wiggle my toes but that didn't matter.  
“Where's my dad?” I looked at Clarke and she held my hand tighter than ever, I felt my heart drop as I heard the words that came out of her mouth next.  
“Rae, he didn't make it, I'm so sorry”. I sat unable to respond as tears began flooding down my face. We didn't talk much, she knew the pain i was going through as she lost her dad when she was 12 and she didn't ask if I was okay. Clarke just knew so she held me for the whole night as I cried and cried until I fell asleep due to exhaustion. That was the day I lost a part of myself which I could never get back.

Sure, it was an accident and nothing could have been done to stop it but maybe if she survived somehow and only suffered the pain of wishing it was her who died too and a leg which she still felt the effects of daily. She never felt so alone. She may have had Clarke, Lexa and Octavia but they never saw her like this. She wouldn't let them see her for the weak, pathetic nobody she was. Clarke had been her best friend for 11 years now and maybe she had seen Raven upset or angry to an extent but what she was right now was something no one should see, ever.

She fought so hard to get past it and to find peace but without her father she felt like nothing. The Latina felt so alone until she met her best friends, alongside Clarke, she had Octavia and Lexa, who made her feel complete but something was special with Octavia, who all made her feel wanted but nothing ever made her forget the loneliness she felt on that autumn day she lost the first person who loved her. She truly loved O and tried to be strong for her, fighting all the thoughts pushing her to do something dumb but it was the hardest thing so she thought of the beautifully life changing night they confessed everything as she wrapped her arms around her knees...

7 month ago  
Raven was in the kitchen with Clarke as they were trying to work out how to not get their apartment wrecked by the 50 or so college friends they invited over. It was already 1am and no signs of people leaving were given. Then Clarke brought up a sore subject about a certain brunette friend with the Latina as Octavia stumbled into the kitchen only to slur “Ravennnnn” loudly as she fell into her arms and looked in her eyes smirking, rest her head on her boobs.  
“Yes O”. Octavia loved the husk of Ravens voice as she held her against her body, she loved the warmth radiating from her.  
“Can we lie down in your room please Rae Rae'' she pouted as Raven warmly smiled and nodded, gaining a laugh from Clarke and a look of I told u so as she picked Octavia up bridal style gaining a sweet giggle from the brunette as she was carrying her through the mass of college students in her apartment, invited by Clarke her room mate and best friend of 10 years. They got to her room and Raven found a large t-shirt, helping Octavia change. She couldn't help but admire her close friend's body as it curved in all the perfect places, blushes as she knew it was wrong. She knew Octavia didn't feel the same way. Octavia took her hands as they got into the bed, Raven cuddling her from behind as she felt Octavia's heart rate beat faster as she put her arms around her waist, breathing gently next to her neck, as Octavia shuffled close and snuggled into Raven's arms.

They lay silently for what felt like hours til Raven broke the silence, thinking and hoping Octavia was asleep as she gently whispered, “I love you, O. More than I could ever love anyone. I know you won’t remember this but just know I’m yours forever, even if we’re only friends''. She gently sighed in relief as she finally got it off her chest yet to be shocked but Octavia grabbed her hand gently and whispered, “Raven, I’m so in love with you. I have been since day one. I may be drunk but I’ll never forget this'' as she turned gently kissing Raven. It was only a single, soft kiss but it meant a thousand works as both felt fireworks go off inside of them as she smiled warmly. Raven lay playing with Octavia's hair until she heard very distinct snores coming from the brunette. She laughed to herself as she fell asleep with the most beautiful girl in her arms.

A tear gently rolled down Ravens cheek, bringing her back to the sad moment she was in, sighing, knowing she needed the love of her life in this moment of time as she took out her phone, dialled O’s number, the line ringing once as she suddenly heard the soft and gentle voice of her girlfriend. 

She was unable to respond but heard Octavia say gently, “I’ll be over in ten mins babe, I love you” then the call ended. Those ten minutes dragged as the Latina was exhausted from all the emotions she felt for a few hours but once she saw O she ran to her, hugging her like her life depended on it. She gently stroked her thumb down Ravens swollen cheeks as she kissed her forehead and lay her on the sofa. As she laid her head on her lap, O stroked her hair behind her ear as she admired all the features on her face and smiled in awe. “I love you Rae, deeper than all the oceans and skies, more than there has been day and night”. 

Raven turned, facing Octavia as she kissed her hand, looking into her shining emerald eyes, ”O, I don’t know how I deserve you but I love you too, more than anything and that’ll never change”. Octavia sweetly smiled as she played with her girlfriend's hair, plaiting it and twirling it around her fingers until she heard gentle snoring from the beautiful Latina, laughing quietly because Raven was determined she didn't snore. She then gently moved down as she put her arm around her, holding her softly but making sure she would never let go of the perfect girl in front of her. She smiled to herself as she placed a gentle kiss on the back of the gorgeous Latina neck as she held her closer and fell asleep next to the girl she wanted to spend forever loving.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first one I've actually published. Be nice :)


End file.
